Vinny Peculiar

I used to be a feminist I used to be a freak…..

The Everlasting Teenage Bedroom
I’m in the everlasting teenage bedroom
I play guitar and look into the mirror
Smoke cigarettes and drink cheap beer
Am I the only person in here?
I catalogue my record collection
I’m reading Playboy Mayfair and Forum
I play loud music late into the night
I’m in the everlasting teenage bedroomAnd everything’s all rightI have no partner no job no children
And I’m attracted to the politics of freedom
I love my friends I think about them often
And we make plans and someday they’re gonna happen
I’m in the everlasting teenage bedroomAnd everything’s all rightAnd I don’t care for the older generation
I’ve got the whole of my life before me
I’ll make mistakes but I’ll put them behind me
Times on my side and it always will be
In the everlasting teenage bedroomEverything’s all right
Times on my side…

We Tried to Drown our Music Teacher in 1974
We tried to drown our music teacher in 1974
He stayed behind to cover swimming club for the absent Mr Law
We planned out every detail and then we locked the door
Held him down underneath the water we thought he was a gonna for sureHis crime was a blanket dismissal of popular music in school
He had no time for TREX or David Bowie and his persona was simply un-cool
He was strictly a man of the classics which of course is a cardinal sin
And he never let us bring our records inHe had it coming to him…In the end it was only our word against his
No body confessed
Nobody was that stupidYears later I hear he’s still there but his attitude has changed
And I’d like to take a little of the credit for the appreciation gained
Now the kids can listen to what they want to their own music in school
But he no longer covers lessons in the swimming pool

Root Mull
Graffiti artist of my youth
I remember the day
You covered the village
In paint spray
Woke up one morning
What did I see ?
On every available property
Such beautiful anarchy
It was as if you’d gone and done it for me On the war memorial, the science block
From Wildmoor Lane on to the Dock
School greenhouse recreation ground
On the signposts where the village meets the townRoot MullThe teachers were outraged
And the parents dumbstruck
They said how do people
Get away with this stuff
My dad says it’s hopeless we should just
Lock ‘em up
It’ll take forever for the council to clean up
Nobody knew just what it meant
We assumed there was some kind of sexual bent
No headmaster’s announcements no police involved
Its one of those mysteries that will never be solvedOn the scout hut and the paper shop
On the phone box by the new Co-op
The library and the caravan
On the butcher ladies delivery vanRoot MullWe didn’t paint our nails when we fought the GermansIt only seems like yesterday
When I threw my big job away
As captain of the cricket team
The derby match on SaturdayThe night before was party time
And dressed up like our mothers
We shared a bed and wore the red
Felt like the bewley brothersAnd we didn’t paint our nails
When we fought the Germans
We didn’t paint our nails when we went to war
We didn’t understand the sanctity of heroes
And none of us play cricket anymoreWhen George Mills said enough’s enough
And uttered those immortal lines
I felt like betrayed myself
But at the very same timeThe let down was the first of many
Acts of cheap conspiracy
Whilst obsessing over memory
I’m engineering an apologyCause we didn’t paint our nails
When we fought the Germans
We didn’t paint our nails when we went to war
We didn’t understand the sanctity of heroes
And none of us play cricket anymore
I recall old George drunk on the high street
Shouting abuse at the passers by
Now that’s what you call a fall from grace
That’s enough to make a grown man cryAnd we didn’t paint our nails etc . . .

Replica Shirt
Replica shirt just put me on
Wear me with pride call me your son
I’ve been away away for too long
Now I’ve come back to where I belongSo come the weekend we’ll go to the game
The same as before
And we’ll get up close to your uncles ghost
When the Villa scoreCome and join the congregation
Worship at the shrine
Come and take your place amongst the fans who wait in line
An action replay from the dim and distant past
We’re making every moment last forever

Forever…
and ever…Replica shirt not just a fad
You be the girl I’ll be the Dad
It’s your first time but it wont be your last
In years to come you will be backSo when I drop you off at the end of the street
Where the shadows fallYou can go to your bed and lay down your head
And dream about footballCome and join the congregation

I’m 2 sad 2 tell u
I saw your beautiful picture
In a book on modern art
And I tried to write a song in vain to fix a broken heart
I took you at face value without ambiguity
As if you’d written on that photograph for meI’m 2 sad 2 tell U
I’m 2 sad 2 tell U
I’m 2 sadIt says here in the caption
How you wanted to explore
The pain of isolation
The divide between us all
Is an image just an image
What do we really feel
Other peoples sorrow
Imagined or for realI’m 2 sad 2 tell U
I’m 2 sad 2 tell U
I’m 2 sadIn search of the miraculous
You set sail from cape cod
For a voyage across the ocean
In a tiny little yacht
But your boat capsized and you were never ever seen again

24
I was born and I was long
My mother she was strong
But my father slept right through on the settee
And as the story goes
A safety pin stuck through my nose
In the winter of 1963At 6 I did my best
For the good folks at the church
On the Sunday school anniversary
At 12 I wrote a story
Called it love and death and glory
And by then it was 1970At 16 I left school
Not because I was a fool
More because I was afraid of my own shadow
I bought acne cream in jars
I never went to bars
But I played a lot of Frisbee on the meadowAt 21 I wed
On the rebound it was said
And we bought a little house in the city
At the age of 22
Reading up on sniffin glue
Where the vacancies were always so prettyAt the age of 24
There’s a knock comes on my door
From a man giving bibles away
So I punch him in the face
Then I help him with his case
And I invite him to stayI’m 24….there’s so much more….at 24

Punk Rock Dreaming
Someone said to me
You should write a song
Call it the abortion
I said OK I’ll try
But I best proceed
With the necessary cautionMay day Digbeth Civic Hall
Our backs against the wall
Revolutionaries scheming
Partitions getting signed
Spot the wanker going blind
From too much punk rock dreamingIt’s every woman’s right to choose
And every man I know is
Devoted to her language
Gender wars are just a front
For a darker ruling force
Oppressing working classesHey you, Mr secretive and blue
There’s a man talking to you
Says you need redeeming
He’s got Marxism today
Says the music’s had its day
And still the punk rock dreamingCause there’s a stake inside your heart
For every amateur upstart
Who refuses to stop screaming When your head starts to explode
From something else to so it goes
It’s just the punk rock dreaming

Egg Incident
Three youths were severely reprimanded by the police for throwing eggs at several houses on the Barley Mow Lane Estate in Catshill at approximately 8.45pm last Friday night. The boys, all in there early teens, were witnessed running at speed from the crime scene by local resident Mr Joseph Sneed, who kindly telephoned this office, after first alerting the police. The youths, all of them local boys, who cannot be named for legal reasons, were instructed to apologise to the home owners and to clean up the mess.